At First Sight

When I first saw Sarah, I thought, "Uh-oh." I was immediately interested in her, but I knew another adoption wasn't in the plans for us.  So I told myself, "Don't look." I couldn't help it, though. I looked- a lot.

The day before our anniversary, I presented my husband with a picture and a note:

Here’s what I want for our anniversary –and Mother’s Day –and my birthday –and Christmas –and just because. 

My timing was off... it took a year... but this spring we were on our way, figuratively speaking, and this month, we were on our way, literally. We traveled to her country and we met her! One huge step closer to bringing her home. 

"Sarah"

I first knew her as Sarah. I thought of her as Sarah for over a year.  After we decided we wanted her as our daughter, I called her Sarah.

On a visit to a toy store shortly after that decision, I spotted a teddy bear. Soft, sweet, vulnerable. He was alone. He touched my heart. I kept coming back to him. Finally I decided I would get him for Sarah; he would be her first toy from Mama and Papa.  His tag read, "Princess Soft Toys." Do you know what Sarah means? Princess.

Piper and I planned to reward ourselves every step of the way through the adoption process with ice cream. That plan proved too weighty- haha- so now we treat ourselves after major achievements.  But that first ice cream reward was served to us by a young lady named... Sarah.

More God signs.

I really thought we'd continue to call her Sarah- of course, that's not her real name. It's an alias given to her by the organization who raises awareness of orphans around the world. But it seemed so connected to her and to those early days of expectancy and excitement. And she looks like a Sarah.  Eric and Piper, however, do not favor the name.  And over time, I've learned her real Russian name, and begun to call her by the name we've chosen as well. At any given time, she may be called by any of those three names. And whether we keep her Russian name or give her the name we've lovingly (and inspiredly- but more on that later!) chosen for her, "Sarah" will always be special to me!

God Signs

On a Tuesday in May, I received an email from Piper's Russian teacher.

Now, this will take some explaining. Piper spent her first four years in Ukraine, where she spoke only Russian.  Within three months of arriving in the United States, she was speaking mostly English, understanding almost everything and using just a few Russian words tossed in here and there.

When she was 12, she wanted to relearn Russian. Now, for kids who have replaced their first language, it's not a matter of just being exposed to that original language. She needed to relearn from the beginning, and Irina was her teacher. Irina and her husband are from Russia, and it was fascinating to learn about the culture as well as the language.   I took copious notes during Piper's lessons, and in fact, when she ceased being the student, I took over. I love learning new languages.  (I rarely remember enough to think in them, but I can often read them. And by "them," I mean French and Russian, with maybe 2 Welsh words thrown in. Someday.)

Eventually, time became an issue, and the Russian lessons with Irina stopped. 

Then, nearly three years later, I received an email from her! She told me about some new books she'd published, on Russian grammar and vocabulary, and a beginning Russian reader!

This was the day after we contacted the adoption agency about adopting a little girl from Russia. A little girl who would speak only Russian.  A little girl to read to when we visited.  Wow.

A God sign.

Irina was thrilled and said I was a brave and kind woman. I was just in awe at the timing of her message.

And, of course, I got the books.  ;) 

And the Learning Starts...

**This one's from November 20.**

As I so confidently wrote, I saw the adoption process as three basic steps...  well, add in about a million tiny little very important details, and that's about right.  I had the order wrong, too.  And the estimated time.... :)

So, a dream adoption from this country, as I saw it in the rosy light of spring, new growth, rebirth... okay, enough poetry- anyway, in my naiveté:

Ø  would have begun with a homestudy that was completed in about six weeks

Ø  while we were gathering our other documents for the registration packet (called "the dossier") and renewing our passports .

Ø  Our agency would then send the dossier to the foreign country, where it would be translated in a week or two, and then submitted to the proper authorities

Ø  who would take about ten days to look everything over, then invite us to travel for our first visit (with two weeks' notice)with the little girl we hope to make our own

Ø  after which, we would return home, wait for a month or two (maybe three) and travel back for the court hearing

Ø  then have just 30 days to wait until we picked her up and came home, together at home at last!

Count out those weeks.   That's about 27.  I was a bit off. Next week is the 27th week of this adoption process and we haven't even gotten a travel date yet!

Now, don't get me wrong. I know of people who have been working on their adoption for months and months. I know of people who have waited years. I am not complaining (right now).  I just mention this dream-like timeline to show you how off I was.  Or how naive. Or innocent. Or just plain uneducated.  

Oh, yes, I've learned a fair amount in the last 27 weeks.  But I bet I don't know half! And there are always surprises in a Russian adoption. So even next time...  just kidding. Maybe. We'll see. As I said, there are always surprises. :)   (No, Mom and Dad, we don't have any plans for another adoption.  But this one wasn't planned, either! So, I'm just keeping my heart and mind open, just in case. I'm learning, you know.)

Our Very Own Adoption Blog!

Here's a look into my thoughts back in the spring, when this was new and fresh and I thought I might write about it every day!

These things often feature a timeline, so I’ll start with that.

May 10… my desire to adopt is re-awakened; Eric realizes he also wants to adopt

May 11… I mention it to Eric, he indicates he’s on board

May 12… emails for information, hinting to Piper, decision made

May 13… Mother’s Day… I’m in a panic (“what have I decided?”)… Eric is happy and excited; we begin telling people (our parents=surprised then excited, our daughter=thrilled, our friends=overjoyed)

May 14… I find peace and reassurance… all panic is gone… all is good. “All things work together for good for those who love God.”

Here's the family, hanging out at a birthday party on May 12, having NO IDEA what thoughts are swirling in my head.

As far as I can tell, there are three main steps to be accomplished before we will be considered by Russia. First, we need a home study. Next, we need approval from the US government, basically to bring an immigrant child to this country. Third, we need a dossier, official documents and forms and agreements and things, notarized and apostilled (which basically means notarized at a higher level, the authentication of the notarizations).  Then, we can submit our desire to Russia, receive a referral, and be invited to meet the child. 

Whew!

Each of the major steps is, of course, composed of many smaller steps.  I wanted to feel we were constantly moving forward, so I set a goal to do something for the adoption every-single-day.  This hasn't entirely worked out, but it has kept me focused and somewhat more disciplined than I usually am.

So where do we stand?  Our home study packet was completed and delivered to the social worker last week.  We have our first office visit tomorrow. I’m not nervous in the least… we've been through this before (eleven years ago) and I have such a pervading sense of peace and excitement about this process.  Sure, there were some anxious days at the beginning, when we couldn't find a social worker, and when I was confused by the paperwork and the adoption agency, but overall now, I feel peace.  I know God is going to take us where He wants us to go. And, right now, at least, I feel secure that I will be able to handle wherever that is.  

Nearly Six Months Later...

**I wrote this on November 18 for my personal blog, but I decided to keep that one private, so I'm copying it here.**


 June 8...  If you've tried to read my blog and can't, don't take it personally. No one can!
I'm not writing right now... got a lot going on. But if you miss me, let me know! :)   

That was my status on Facebook almost six months ago.  There was a lot going on... both with our family and the Adoption Process, and with stress in the adoption world in general.  I intended to begin writing again eventually,  with a limited audience... but time went on. And on! And now I have so much to say! :) How do I begin recapping a half a year that was eventful yet quieter than expected, that brought new highs and new lows to my emotions, that has moved along so rapidly- but there's still so much time to go?

A post at a time, I guess! A post at a time!

And here's the first one.

I'm back.

Our newest treasure isn't home yet- in fact we haven't even met her.

I have no idea what trimester this "paper pregnancy" is in... it feels like an elephant's gestation.

Excited, elated, confused, frustrated... all describe my mood at some point in those six months.

I've learned some Russian.

I've forgotten some Russian.

I've planned ninth grade lessons and wondered when I'd be planning first grade again.

I've tried to keep busy, and I've tried to relax.

But I haven't written very much, and I miss it.

So... I'm back!

Introductions

At the bottom of the page, you'll see our daughters... and our future son-in-law... complete with aliases.

I had fun choosing their names. My initial plan was to go with airplanes.  My husband is a huge airplane aficionado, and I'm a fan of the historic craft. One of our first dates was a visit to three classic Warbirds, and part of our honeymoon was spent at an air show. 

It was easy to nickname Piper, after the Piper Cub. A cute and perky sounding name, and what's more, she likes it.

Then it got harder.  My husband's favorite plane is the Texan. And "Tex" does not fit him. Nor do the other names for that plane... I gave up on airplanes. I'm still not sure what I'll call him.

Oldest daughter and fiance are huge into swing dancing -planning a swing dance wedding, in fact- so I chose Jitterbug for her, and Charleston for him. 

So we're going for a late '30s/early '40s thing.

Piper is 15 now. She's a freshman in high school, loves children, and would like to be  a nanny someday. In the meanwhile, she's going to make an awesome big sister.

Jitterbug just turned 23, and she's a busy bug.  She works full-time at a library and is attending college full-time as well, to complete her undergrad degree this spring.  She and Charleston have been together for 3 1/2 years, and got engaged in August.  We're excited about adding our first son* to the family in the coming year, as well as another daughter.

*First son with two legs, that is... Teddy is our four-legged baby, and he's been around for awhile. He's also indirectly responsible for this journey -or one of the many facets we see as we look back down the road.